Tag Archives: Home

PROCRASTINATION

 

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One more reason to postpone town—
my list of necessities buried in a yellow tablet
of half-poems, songs you want to learn to play

on your father’s Martin—we are almost
self-sufficient with the garden, fresh limes
for our evening Tanqueray watching cows

come into water before grazing up hillsides.
Some waddle now, heavy with calf. Summer
seems to want to leave early on gusts,

shadows longer on the cusp of change
we mustn’t miss—another day of details
to keep us closer to the home we’ve made.

 

CHANCE

 

Dry hills soft, come dusk
before a promised chance
of rain, blond fuzz

of empty-headed grasses
teased by gusts
beg to embrace me,

to become lost
in the folds of canyons
and draws, absorbed

as someday I will be.
Dark breezes stir the senses
with anticipation,

transform baked clay
to breathing slopes
of warm flesh

and I am comforted—
home at last,
a chance for peace.

 

BATTLEGROUND

 

                        Then the man noticed that he didn’t
                        have any shadow. He went out and
                        looked around: nothing had any shadow.
                        He began to squint up his eyes, it was
                        all so bright. And wherever he looked
                        there were sharp little knives.

                              – William Stafford (“Stories To Live In The World With”)

1.
We were but shadows on this ground,
young bulls bellowing into space
hoping for an answer in an echo—
not rivals down canyon pawing dirt.

We cast more shade now as we go
remembering the bluff and bluster
of manifest destiny—the arrogance
of greed blest by God—feeble-legged,

stumbling in cobbles along the creek.
If left alone for a century or two,
time will heal the tracks, erase mistakes
we might have better learned by.
 

2.
It did not begin or end there. Three
hundred shadows passing in this canyon
when Sir Francis Drake stabbed
California sand for Queen Elizabeth I

leaving little sign of how their minds
worked grinding, making palatable
what was at hand until—you know
the rest—like echoes in these hills.
 

3.
Pages welded together in dark corners,
transcripts in generational stacks
only attorneys dream of designing,
hold both petty and valuable details.

How it shook the old house, my father
overwhelming his in a thunderous
shouting match, a sparring over nothing
to hone a keen edge for the Corps.

Or the luxury of divergent dreams
of royalties instead of rent, in-laws
and family divided and divorced with
land—and from the tracks cut deep.
 

4.
We are but shadows on this ground
passing beneath us as always, immigrants
in old space that cannot stay the same
in the new world that swirls around us,

an invisible adversary invading our air,
our flesh, this dirt we shall return to—
however gladly or reluctantly, to cast
no more shadows—at home at last.

 

= = = = = = = = = =

Stories To Live In The World With (Someday Maybe, 1973)

A long rope of gray smoke was
coming out of the ground. I went
nearer and looked at it sideways.
I think there was a cave, and some people
were in a room by a fire in the earth.
One of them thought of a person like me
coming near but never quite coming in
to know them.

Once a man killed another, to rob him,
but found nothing, except that lying
there by a rock was a very sharp,
glittering little knife. The murderer
took the knife home and put it beside
his bed, and in the night he woke
and the knife was gone. But there was
no way for a person to get in to take the knife.

The man went to a wise old woman.
When she heard the story, she began to laugh.
The man got mad. He yelled at the woman
to tell why she was laughing. She looked
at him carefully with her eyes squinted
as if she looked at the sun. “Can’t you
guess what happened?” she asked.

The man didn’t want to be dumb, so
he thought and thought. “Maybe the knife
was so sharp that it fell on the ground
and just cut its way deeper and deeper and
got away.” The woman squinted some more.
She shook her head. “You learned that from
a story. No, I will tell you why you
thought the knife was gone and why
you came here to ask me about it:
you are dead.”

Then the man noticed that he didn’t
have any shadow. He went out and
looked around: nothing had any shadow.
He began to squint up his eyes, it was
all so bright. And wherever he looked
there were sharp little knives.

This is a true story. He really was dead.
My mother told us about it. She told us
never to kill or rob.
At a little pond in the woods
I decided: this is the center of my life.
I threw a big stick far out, to be
all the burdens from earlier years.
Ever since, I have been walking
lightly, looking around, out of the woods.

                                                            – William Stafford

Courtesy of

 

SABBATH HOME

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1.
After the flood of holiday cheer
and four black and frosty mornings
into the New Year, I have lost track
of the names of days

                        celebrating work:
                        friends gathered,
                        calves branded,
                        meat fired

                        and bottles emptied—
                        the hugs and handshakes
                        of neighbors, persistent
                        habits etched deeper

                        in the hard ground
                        worn around our eyes—
                        deeper yet into souls,
                        our pupils as pinholes

                        to grand landscapes
                        either side, missed
                        by the migratory headed
                        somewhere up the road.
 

2.
We live within a dot on the map,
a speck of dust on a spinning globe
in space and time without end,

holding firm to our moment,
looking back and ahead at once:
no finish line in sight.
 

3.
We pace our plodding, take all week
to get the work done, to savor details
of small accomplishment in a hazy

scheme of keeping track of seasons
shaped by rain, or lack of it—
our spiritual sustenance comes

with the crescendo of storms
we pray for, almost everyday, keeping
busy while we wait for an answer.
 

4.
In the winter, we invest in the future
measured by firewood stacked outside
the door, like last year’s crop of acorns
stored by natives, wild and domestic,

we are prepared in this place
to loose track of days scattered
like native cattle into strays
chasing the good grass back home.

 

DEEDS OF TRUST

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When the earth can be worked, they come
to investigate. Horses peer over fences,
cattle stare through barbed wire, but

the Roadrunners come in pairs like cops
on patrol inspecting changes to the ground
they claim, including us, without fear.

The quail fall out of the Live Oaks
well after dawn, tittering like children
late for school, gray coveys rolling

off the hill to graze new ways
to the water trough, and we claim them
all like family, one that gets along—

a sense of belonging greater
than ownership, taken root and proven
to be more than enough to feel secure.

 

 

Going Home

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Mothers to the weaned calves that went to town Wednesday were ready to head home when we arrived early yesterday morning. A small front passing through Yosemite left us overcast with a cool upcanyon breeze.

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The cows know the routine and really only need us to open and close the gates.

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A beautiful morning to be horseback despite the dust. No hoots, no hollers, easy business as the cows chugged up the hill, going home.

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Compadres.

 

 

YOU AND I

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With all time, the wild waits
and watches for weakness
to erase our track—

 

each and every pending joy
prolonged in one place
beneath the sky

 

swallowed up, overgrown,
like it was before
it trained us, you and I.